Projection

I’ve been sort of caught up lately in being projected upon. Meaning? Consciously or not, I’ve been allowing others’ expectations of me to influence my thoughts and actions. My intention is to “worry less” and do more. Of me. Whatever that is. I encourage you to do the same. Stop worrying about being “enough.” You know, holding your tongue because you may not be smart enough, not approaching that someone because you may not be attractive enough or interesting enough, or not starting a venture because you may not have the skills enough to complete it, and on and on. Be you. Those who are “for you” will come. Keep them. Those who are not, well, they will be easy enough to spot. It’s difficult to block out the negativity and the distractions but it’s worth it. You will be so much more productive and content. I would add though, don’t be too quick to judge. I say this because I recently took a friend’s statement to heart and thought it was meant to be a dig. It bothered me for days. I mulled it around in my mind, looked at it from what I thought was every angle, until it finally dawned on me that maybe I misunderstood the statement (the conversation was via text, but the complexity texting adds to a relationship would have to be for another post  lol). When I finally stopped defending myself to myself was when I could look at the context of the statement, not in light of just the conversation, but taking into consideration all of the past interactions. I knew then that it was really my good that my friend wanted for me. Ooh, I love the gray the areas! There are fine lines everywhere.

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One and Only

menmom

I wanted to do a post as an ode to single parents because I have much respect for them. I’m married with two young children. My husband works 12-hr shifts most days (no, he is not compensated like a doctor, at all) and that can be taxing. There’s not much I can say really because I DO have someone to help me even if it is only sometimes, but I still feel it when he’s not there – when I have to tote the children on all of my errands plus take them to their activities, not to mention anytime I have a ‘me’ thing to. The latter is so rare because that’s just how mothers are – we put everyone else above ourselves way too often, but we do derive satisfaction from knowing we have fulfilled/satisfied/made someone else happy. Anyhow, my daily struggles always make me think about single parents. I wonder how they manage. They have no reprieve unless they have a good support network, but how many of them do? Sure, they don’t have the added dynamic of having to keep a partner/spousal relationship going, but then they do have everything on themselves. There is no sharing of responsibility, even if it’s in name only. There is no shoulder to lean on. There is no mediator between them and their children. There is no “Look, leave me alone, go ask your father, he’s right there.”  lol  There is no shared accountability – all decisions are on one person’s head, good, bad, or ugly, right there, right then. That’s a lot. That’s a lot for one person, even if that person has a good support system. My mother was a single parent. Having my own children now I see for myself exactly how self-centered children are. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just a fact. Children only know their world from one perspective – theirs. I like to think I was a considerate child and not completely self-absorbed, but in reality that probably wasn’t the case for myself or my sister.  🙂   So, here’s to the single moms and dads out there. I’m raising my virtual glass of sparkling apple cider to you! Don’t lose heart (or sanity).   😀

A Life Plan

We are all looking for something, a purpose in this life. I struggle with that as much as the next person (sometimes I swear it’s more, lol) and I have my good days and my bad days. I used to think I knew how it would all go – I would go to school, get a degree, get a job, and stay with that job until I retired. My plans got thwarted which I didn’t account for. Nope, I had no Plan B. What do you when that happens? You try to regroup and keep from sliding all the way down the hill and taking your entire family with you. Four years later I’m still working on the regrouping part, but I believe I’m finally getting the hang of it. Now I have to plan, and “plan B” plan, the rest of my life. I can’t spend whatever time I have left waffling between choices and options and ideas and wonderings. With so many inspirational women around me I have no excuse. People come into our lives for two reasons: for us to be blessings to them, and for them to be blessings to us.

This first ‘episode’, if you will, is for Andria – a young lady who started on one path, a predictable one, but is now forging her own. Just listening to her I draw from her youthful courage. I’m certain she has helped me more than I have helped her.

For my daughter

I am the ultimate procrastinator when it comes to certain things. I don’t know what it is. And as much as I want to write, that’s one of the things that keeps getting put on the back burner. The idea behind this blog was, and still is, two-fold: (1) to be a source of encouragement to my daughter as she grows, and (2) to motivate me and others to DO. I have lived a fairly stable and comfortable life, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I’ve found myself saying to various friends over the years “Yes, do that so I can live through you!” Why on earth would I say that and not just decide to ‘live’ myself? True, finances can be a restricting factor, especially when to me  ‘living’ includes lots of travel, however there are still things that *can* be done. Things can be done and situations can be changed so that doors to other opportunities can be opened. This blog is a toast to that! This is my personal project – I want to meet and talk to women who are DOING, and when I do I will post about them here. Are you in?