I Wanna Write, I Wanna Write!

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I do, I do!  🙂  Sometimes I’ll have a “good” day where I feel so inspired to do and create and then I paralyze myself with all of the options of paths to take. I don’t get it. I remember from high school my best friend and I would run to the corner store at the end of our lunch period to buy some junk food. The problem was, I had a set amount I was willing to spend, say 80c, and with that I could only get ONE thing. It was the same dilemma every time! We would rush to the store with maybe ten minutes til the bell and I would stand in front of the register, poring over the plethora of options. But always, in the end, I would grab the familiar snickers, pay, and we would RUN back to school. smh  The main question that ran through my mind was, “What if I try X but I end up not liking it?” My money would have been wasted and I would not have my dessert void filled. Definitely a lose-lose scenario. But now I look back and wonder what I may have missed out on? o_O  As trivial as it is to think about, I bet I did miss out on some obscure chocolate bar. What will I miss out on this time around as I stand in front of life, as young as I will ever be again, and think about all of the things I could do, like write a book, make (really) short films, take pictures, do something tech-y like write an app for my husband’s phone, or help churches get into the cloud. So I sit and think and half start, going from one to the other, but ending up not pursuing any one thing. What a shame. If I would just focus on one thing and get it going. If I choose none then I’ve given up on all and who knows what I will be missing out on. If I continue waffling it’s the same as a non-choice because then I don’t give myself the chance to become an expert. But as was true 20 plus years ago is still the same now – what if I do put my heart into something and it ends up being a waste of time, I end up not satisfied, with the void not filled, and nothing to show except growing older?

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